


Wrong Bottle, Moron

by mageicalwishes



Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [19]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: (Not really but man NEEDS to learn to read the label), Carry On Countdown 2020 (Simon Snow), Carry on Countdown Day 19, Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Protective Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow is an Idiot, Stroppy Baz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28061241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mageicalwishes/pseuds/mageicalwishes
Summary: Simon makes a VERY stupid mistake while showering. Cue, Baz coming to his rescue.Carry On Countdown, Day 19 - Misunderstanding
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027147
Kudos: 97
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Wrong Bottle, Moron

**Baz**

Crowley, he’s absolutely _coated_ in mud. _Again._

Ever since him and Shepard started their ‘wrestling’ sessions, this has (Unfortunately) become a weekly occurrence. Of which, our white carpets are _not_ thankful for. 

When I say wrestling, I do of course just mean throwing each other about in a muddy field, with no formal rules or care for their own personal safety. _(Bloody idiots, the pair of them)._ But, in spite of its _appalling_ organisation, I have to admit that it’s been good for him - Having a physical release. And I can hardly complain about the mess when he comes home smiling, each time. 

But, I did just clean those carpets, so …

He sees me glaring, and grins. “Don’t even start, neat freak. Imma’ have a shower so don’t fuss!” 

“Make sure it’s thorough, Snow. You’re not getting into bed with me if you’re all … grimy.” 

“I know, I know,” he laughs, heading into the bathroom.

“And use some of my toner,” I call after him. “It’ll get anything the face wash misses.”

“Fine, fine. What does it look like?” 

“Blue liquid in a clear bottle.”

“Will do, bossy!”

* * *

I’m perfectly relaxed, enjoying my novel on the settee, when everything goes wrong. 

“Baz!” He calls, panic plain in his voice. “Can you come here a sec?” 

I do. And, when I enter the bathroom, I falter at the sight of him - Face red and tears streaming down his face. 

“Is it supposed to sting?” 

“What? No!” I worry, coming to his side and tilting his face towards me. _Shit._ Maybe he’s allergic to it? Maybe I need to call Dr Wellbelove? Maybe he needs … _It smells like a fucking industrial plant in here_ \- Chemicals burning inside my nostrils and throat. What the …? _Oh God!_

I look down at the counter, in horror, where Snow has half emptied a clear bottle of blue _nail varnish remover._

“Simon, you moron, you should’ve read the label! Merlin and Morgana, you’ve used fucking nail varnish remover!” 

“What?!” He asks. “But you said-”

“I _know_ what I said! Just … keep your eyes closed, alright? I’m going to walk you into the shower and help you get this off. You’ll be fine, don’t worry.” 

Carefully, I grab onto his waist, and push him forwards, following him into the still-steamed cubicle. Turning the tap, and plunging us both into ice-cold water. 

“Baz,” he whines. “It’s cold!”

“I know,” I wobble, leaning down to pick up our face wash. “It’ll heat up in a moment, we just need to get you cleaned off.” 

I spend the next ten minutes, scrubbing at his face, with shaky hands. Washing and rewashing his skin until it’s red raw. Praying to all possible deities that he hasn’t given himself some kind of chemical burn. _(Crowley, I’d never be able to live with the guilt.)_

I press a kiss to his forehead, and scrape his sodden curls back from his face. “Alright, love. Do your eyes sting at all?” 

“No.”

“Alright, I think that we’ve got most of it off. Can you open your eyes for me?”

**Simon**

When I open my eyes, I’m met with a _very_ worried looking Baz kneeling in front of me, soaking wet and fully clothed. 

He smiles, nervously, and I know that I shouldn’t, but I just can’t help it. I burst out laughing. Cackling into the fall of water. 

“What - What are you doing?” He asks, pouting. 

“Oh my god, mate, look at you! You got your fancy suit all soapy. And you - Your _hair,_ Baz! _Oh my god._ You _have_ to let me take a picture.” 

“Sod off, Snow” He scoffs, standing up and attempting to wipe himself down. “A smarter man would’ve just left you to melt your own face off! It would have certainly taught you a well-deserved lesson!” 

I turn the shower off and stumble after him, wrapping my hands around the back of his waist and burying myself against his neck. Pressing a quick kiss to his dampened skin. 

“Thank you for saving me from myself, darling,” I whisper. “I love you.” 

He doesn’t say it back (Since he’s _much_ too busy stropping and rolling his eyes). But, I know that he loves me too. And, I know that he’ll tell me so, later. He always does, in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed :) Comments and kudos, appreciated.  
> My Tumblr: [Link text](https://mageicalwishes.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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